Friday, 7 May 2010

Ye Gads! I'm a Teacher!

I'm a proper teacher. I don't just faff about doing a bit of nice one-to-one. I manage class after class and mark books and mock exams and plan and differentiate and write reports. I take the register. Grrr! And, I'm managing. Just. And, I'm managing because, on the whole, kids are fun.

I have some funny stories from the classroom, for your delectation. First, from a year 8 Frankenstein essay.

"You can tell Frankenstein has really let himself go because when Clerval comes round for a glass of wine they have to share a glass and Frankenstein wipes it clean for him on a rag. If Frankenstein hadn't chosen to be such an outcast he would have had normal things in his house like kitchen roll and a tea towel."

When discussing the election with year 9.

"Shouldn't that be a hanged parliament, Miss?"

And here's one from the TES.

I was marking my year sevens' exercise books, they had all written a short account of the life of Geoffrey Chaucer.

One girl in the class, who is the meekest, sweetest, 'do you mind if I use gel pen to underline, please, Miss?' bespectacled, brace-wearing child, had written the following, towards the end of her homework: "In 1400, Geoffrey Chaucer died of a massive brain tumor. The tumor was so big it would be equivalent to.. (at this point I turned the page)... ...Shaquille O'Neill's left testicle."

Quelle Joi!

Anon, gentle reader! Anon!


Two Wednesdays said...

I hope you weren't drinking a cup of tea whilst reading the last one! Thank you for making me smile (and bringing me out of lurking!)

GretchenJoanna said...

Oh, my! A fun perk of your very hard job. I will look forward to more snippets from young minds.

Jo said...

Oh, well done you! The passionate English taechers from my highschool years still shine in my memory all these years later.

I so love the image of Frankenstein 'letting himself go'. Priceless.

Anonymous said...

So, out of professional interest, does that mean his right was smaller?

Congrats dearie! Hope you enjoy it.


Sue said...

You almost make me want to return to the classroom. But not quite.

Susan said...

We get some good remarks in the children's library, but that is a hoot!

Gumbo Lily said...

Cracking up here! Thanks for the delightment.


Nan said...

I love these sorts of student details. Just wonderful.