Sunday, 24 April 2011

A Response to Previous Comments

Hi to all who commented on my last post. Thank you for your insight. I've been trying to respond via the comments section on the blog for a while, but Blogger is playing up and eating everything I type. I thought it sensible, therefore, to respond via a post.

First, Lucy said that she felt that in the future only the very wealthy and the underclass will be SAH parents. I think she has a valid point. It is ironic, however, that the "squeezed middle" have always been at home mums, whereas the wealthy have always had paid childcare and the very poor have had to work outside the home.

Sue mentioned that she has posted about how fulfilled she feels as a housewife. I think that housewifery is a very fulfilling role for a creative person. I was NEVER bored when I was a housewife – sometimes a little lonely, but never bored. I also think that SAH parenting has a valuable social role. The older I get, the more I realize that the home really is the cornerstone of a civil society.

Monix has outlined how her experience of being a SAHM in the 1970s differs to the experience of her daughter. I think I read (in The Selfish Capitalist) that real wages have decreased substantially since the 1970s. Basically, we’re getting a lot less bang for our buck. We bought our first house fourteen years ago for £35,000. It is now on the market for £175,000. How can a young couple, with massive student debt, afford to live on one income - or indeed two part-time incomes – if the average cost of a small semi is so astronomical?

Debbi mentioned that she feels that many women work outside the home to afford luxury goods. I think she has a valid point, one or two women I know, whose husbands are on three times the salary of my husband, feel they cannot afford to give up work. However, I think it may be financially easier for those in the USA to be SAHM. I live in what many Americans would consider to be a very small home, however, it would cost £280,000 if you wanted to buy it. Is that about $450,000? Also, and this is a terrible admission for a dedicated SAHM, but even if my DH were to get a job with a similar salary to the one he was on before his redundancy, I’m not sure I would give up my job. I would be scared that he would lose it again – job insecurity abounds for everybody. I’m a coward.

Laura says that her family’s decision for her to stay at home parent has come at something of a cost. Her husband works long hours. She feels that many of her contemporaries are in this situation. I think that this is an important point. Very few SAHM have husbands who work a steady nine-to-five job. For many couples it is the husband’s over-time which allows the wife to stay at home with the children. However, as over-time dwindles so does the option to SAH, and women no longer feel the social pressure to stay at home they did – in fact the social pressure it the exact opposite. Here's an article about British student debt.


Like sunshine in the home said...

Hello dearie, good to see you posting.

So glad that you are enjoying life. I would love to go back to full-time stay at home status.Best job in the world. But, I'm in the second best place now, I work part-time in a school and I get the school hols with the girls. Life's busy but good.

I enjoyed your post and everyone's comments. I think being a stay at home mother is certainly the best job in the world if you can do it. So incredibly worthwhile and fulfilling if you can cope with the drawbacks - lack of people (under 65 or over 5) around during the day and having to be very strict with your budget. I think if Mum is happy at home then it is the best place for the children to be. I loved it.

I still haven't returned that book to you! Shame on me, I will get to it.


Dulce Domum said...

What Ho!
I, too, am thankful that I get the holidays - I also am home for 4:15 (unless I've got a meeting/parents' evening etc). I would love to SAH again, but I'm dead scared. I couldn't go through this year of adaption again - and it has taken me a year to adapt! I'm glad you're doing well, don't worry about the book - send it as and when.

Left-Handed Housewife said...

Hello, Dulce D! Oh, I miss your posts. I know you're busy, and I'm very happy to hear you're happy with your life as it is right now, but I hope one day circumstances will allow you to return to your blog more frequently. I hope you had a lovely Easter!


Like sunshine in the home said...

Are you on school hols yet? School finished here today, I have to work tomorrow though.

I've been working fulltime in the kitchen and in the office...I need a breaaaaaak!

Hope you and yours are OK.